Jay was born at McKennan Hospital in Sioux Falls, SD on July 31, 1978 to my brother and his wife, Randy and Mary Jacobson. Mary had him by C-section. He was such a cutie! Randy was so very proud. Jay looked just like his dad! Jay was the oldest of three children. He had two younger sisters, Chanel and Jenna. Jay loved hunting and fishing due to the fact that it is what his dad taught him but in reality, it is really hard to say what his passions were as he was not allowed the gift of experiencing a variety of things. Hunting and fishing were all he knew. He loved the ladies though. He always had a girl on his arm. He had no trouble attracting girls. Jay was a true lady magnet! Jay had a terrible time in school. The teachers did not seem to understand him. Jay never learned to read or write, more than his own name and "I love you." That was such a perfect thing to learn! We had many meetings at the school in which his grandma, Joan, and I acted as his advocate. Now, his poor grandma wakes at night in tears and grieves so deeply for the grandson she tried ever so hard to help. Grandma really loves you Jay!!! Jay was diagnosed with ADHD, Depression, Dysthymia, Borderline Personality Disorder and mild mental retardation. At one point his records indicated suicidal ideation. He had been in Special Ed. all of his school experience. Jay did graduate from Washington High School in Sioux Falls. This was a very proud event for Jay and all of us. I became his legal guardian and his grandma, Joan, became his conservator in May, 2000. Even after all the psyche trips I went to with him (before and after I became his guardian,) not once did I get the message from professionals that he was truly a threat to himself. There were many nights that I sat up all night with him because I thought he might hurt himself but all we did was talk about whatever came up. Through these conversations I learned what a beautiful person he truly was. He cared about everyone and everything around him more than he cared for himself. In June, 2001, he met his last girlfriend. From that point on and for many reasons, he went on a downward spiral at such a fast clip that there was no way to stop him. He quit taking his medications. He got into trouble with the law. He fought with and shut out those of us who cared for him most. His whole world simply fell apart. So, now all I have are the memories - oh, the beauty of them all. I wish that I could turn back the hands of time! On Jay's birthday this year he didn't bug me for a month with "what ya gonna get me for my birthday?" His big, beautiful smile would just shine as he would say that. His smile would make night time seem like day.....I went to the cemetery instead, as I have been since his death and will now until my time on Earth is through, and I ask him why he had to leave. And all the while, I will wonder what he would have wanted for his birthday each year, what his true potential would have been and I will always miss his big, beautiful smile. Jay's remains are laying at rest on the side of a small sunny hill in St. Michaels's Cemetery in Sioux Falls, SD. His grave is marked by a stone with his picture on it and a background of a fisherman and a hunter. I put two wind chimes on his grave and two on Devon's grave. Jay had always talked about putting wind chimes on Devon's grave but for whatever reason, it didn't happen. Now, they are there and you can rest easy, dear Jay! The pain in my heart over Jay's loss will never die. He was not only my nephew. He was like another son to me. He was also my friend and I will always miss him. I love you, Jay! Aunt Brenda